Some failures cannot be foreseen, God has placed things in our path to draw us to him, to rely on him and to give him the power to guide us, we need to trust him and the choices that he has made for us in our lives. Sometimes he gives us things only to take them away, why?! Sometimes we may never know, sometimes it takes a while to learn his ways and occasionally we have that, "ah ha" moment shortly after. Each of the stepping stones he gives us, is to better ourselves and grow into him and concrete the values that he has taught us since conception.
Lots of times when I tell people that I am going to school to be a nurse, they LOVE the idea. Most people who REALLY know me, know I am first and foremost a giver. I love giving time to people, gifts, making meals for my family and friends, basically anything that I can do for someone, I will. I value the people in my life and how I show them the value I have for them, is to give to them. So becoming a nurse just amplifies that nature I have, the values that God has instilled in my heart and soul.
When I go on to tell people I want to specialize in Neonatal, they first ask what it is, most people don't realize there is a whole speciality just for little humans. Premature babies or those full term ones that need extra special medical attention for whatever reason. Then they ask WHY? "Oh, that would be so sad... Don't most of them die?" -- did you know that some experts will stand by the statistic that 70% of pregnancies end in miscarriage?! Did you know that the likelihood of a baby living born at 24 weeks gestational age is less than 10% and even less of a chance that they will not have major medical issues and mental delay. -- why would I want to fight along side these horrible odds? Why would I want to stand over these tiny humans and watch their parents make life altering decisions? -- WHY? Because I have lived, I have been at those appointments when your OB tells you that your child MIGHT have a major medical issue, I have lived through the specialist visits and the amniocentesis, I have lived through the unknown, I have birthed a child, a healthy, beautiful child. A child who brightens my worst days and reminds me why I take each breath. And because I have lost, I know the feeling of despair and the loss you feel when losing something that is part of you. There is nothing on this earth that could make you feel that helpless and lost. Because I VALUE these outcomes both good and bad, these are what make each of us individual. I VALUE the experiences that these parents are going through -- I may not have the personal experience of going through EVERY situation that some of these parents go through, but I VALUE their emotions, the confusion, the guilt, the pure desperation that they feel. I want to be able to be that rock that they need, the person who will tell them, "I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to help YOUR CHILD. Because if it was my baby, I would need someone to do the same for me." -- because as a parent sometimes you just need to grieve about the situation, regardless of the final outcome. In the moment of unknown you don't always need to be strong but someone does and that is the person who is taking care of your child, the one who is taking time away from their family to help yours.
I know there will be times where I hate the job I decided to do but I know that the times when I see those parents pick their baby up and TAKE THEM HOME; I will know that the career I have chosen was made for ME. God has placed this career on my heart, the career chose me, I didn't choose it. So next time you ask someone why they are doing something that seems so hard, look at THEM, the values that they have, the purpose in life that has been given to them by our Lord.
The value of life isn't based on anything other than life itself. If we aren't living we are dying, there is no getting around it. God has designed it this way for a reason. Value those around you, value your own life, your own journey, the one that God has given you to walk. One day your walk will end, you will be done trying to find your way. Whether it is before birth or at 110, each of us has an end to our journey. Does it make the value of our life any less because it ended sooner than another's?
